Attention, Kitchen Designers

If you have EVER put white flooring in a kitchen, I forgive you. The world needs those idealists who live not in the real world, but in a realm of fantasy. For the rest of us, with dogs and children and underactive cleanliness genes, please install something close to dirt-colored. Preferably hard so that it doesn't tear and with a matte finish so that only you know that it's dirty.

Yep. It's Cleaning Frenzy at our house. You know the drill: you have less than twelve hours until the Parental Units come to call. The house is a pit. The dishes aren't done. The bed hasn't been made since the last time you had guests. And you have to sleep sometime between now and then.

That's where we are now. Only on top of the kitchen floor and dishes and bed, we have THE BASEMENT, where the kids hang out, draw and color, and watch television. They're in charge of cleaning down there. If it's done before the local parade tomorrow morning, we're going. If not, we're staying home.

So far, so good. They've made a dent in the mess. I'll have to sweep and mop after they go to bed, but that isn't that big a deal. The really big deal is folding all the clean laundry on my futon in my office. It's piled high.

Oh, well. I've got more than 12 hours before the PU's get here. That's plenty of time.